Life moves much too fast for my liking. January is winding down and have not met a single goal for one whole week. In part, this is a lack of discipline. The other side of this is that there is so much else going on that I have a hard time keeping track of certain things; mostly just the things that I want to accomplish for my own purposes. On the upside, there is a shift in me. It's like, little pieces of my heart are slowly peeling back and opening to reveal the most tender inner parts. The question is, will I allow God entry into that part? I want to, but every time I have ever let Him get close, I put up all of my defenses. My biggest weapon being apathy. I simply walk away saying that all of this was in my head, that God doesn't really want all of me. But I know that's not the truth. The truth is that I am terrified of figuring out who I really am, of letting God truly fill me and make me more and more like His son. The only thing I know is that I can keep trying.
One goal that I had in mind was to live a little, to take some chances. And I have one in mind that I am going to undertake this coming week, I'll keep you posted;)
Anyway, I need to finish some homework. Until next week readers, stay classy:p
I feel ya, sister.
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