For those of you who don't know, I have college degree in Human Services. I had drifted through my early 20's and finally decided that I would never be or do anything without a college education. Getting that degree became my lifeline, my identifier, my hope and my salvation. I was one of the very first people in my family, extended and immediate, to graduate with a bachelors.
Looking back, I never knew how much weight I was placing in the relative weightless piece of paper. But it was a mountain in my life. A bolder. Getting that document was the only thing I had going for me. Or so I believed.
As an academic, or maybe it was just my personality, I was never wrong. I could not and would not be made a fool. If someone was smarter than me I simply ignored them (side note, I'm really not that smart, so I ignored a lot of people!) or found myself getting infuriated. I was cynical. Above all else, I had to be right and I would not be proved wrong.
Stupid me! This attitude quenched (stopped me from hearing him and so stopping me from obeying his direction) God's potential fire in my life. True, there were many other things woven into the affective fire-blanket over my spiritual life, but an unwillingness to be shown wrong stopped Him in my life and will do the same in yours.
I am so thankful that, by His grace alone, this attitude collapsed! But because of my utter stupidity, it almost took me out with it.
I had one semester left when I met God. Just one. Sixteen more weeks. January to May. You know the saying "the bigger they are, the harder they fall?" Yup. It's true. I became so eager to be where I am now that I almost dropped out! What a mistake that would have been. Nor do I believe that was what God really wanted me to do. As eager as I became to leave the degree behind, there were a lot of tears leading up to that point. Basically, God was opening my eyes to how much esteem and value I had placed in a worldly system as opposed to His.
My point in all of this rambling? I've learned that, firstly, my worth and identity can only be found in him. Secondly, no matter how good and right a thing may seem, it is only ever a tool. Third, I had, and still have some, attitudes and thoughts that quench his ability to work in and through me.
What are some fire quenchers in your life? Seek him, find out what they are, and get them out! I promise you, letting him consume you will be the best thing you ever do.
